A leopard does not change its spots

Everybody has their own story. The story of the past, that we carry like a backpack on our shoulders. Not all people have had the privilege of a easy start in life. Some were deserted as a baby or left alone by a father that ran off, when still a small child.

 

Never judge a book by its cover

This is why I try to never judge a book by its cover, because I do not know the story that is behind the person and I can’t feel the weight of their backpack. I try my best to accept everybody – if old, young, handsome, ugly, cool or insecure the way they are.  And it was my friend Ruby, who gave me one of the most beautiful compliments ever on my going away party, that the people I invited showed my personality – that I like all kinds of people. It was a great compliment, because it is not always easy not to judge, because we all tend to put people in drawers, because of our own fears and because of the things we learn when we grow up.

 

Indiana Jones

In Cairns (Eastern Australia) I got to meet a guy I call Indiana Jones. He was the responsible tour guide for all excursions of our hostel, which took place 5 times a week. A blond curly surfer guy, that was good in shape. In the 40 minutes we sat in the bus he told us, that he is a skydiver and that he is being sponsored to Kite Surf. He had worked as a professional bodyguard for the Olympics and for famous people all over he world. He also mentioned that he is actually a coach and asks 10,000 dollars up front from his clients. He told us he lives in a penthouse by the beach and he owns 30 boards.

I was quite entertained by all of his stories and just played along saying how great that all is. I was laughing about him on the inside! Come on! If you are earning 10.000 dollar per coaching, than why are you working on a hostel bus 5 days a week!

I asked him some questions and found out that his dad was 60 when he was born and his mom just 35. His dad was a bestseller author, but in order for Indiana Jones to read his dad’s books, he had to buy them himself.

I spent a long time thinking about this guy. Next morning at breakfast an older man started chatting to me. It turned out that “Indiana Jones” had told him that his dad used to beat the shit out of him and it seemed like his dad was a very bad guy. He also said that our Indiana Jones could never survive working with other guys in a team here in Australia. They would take the piss out of him and tell him to stop his bullshit stories.

Do you see me?

And then it came to me. He is riding the bus, so he can tell his stories and other people admire him. Young backpacker girls from all over the world come on the bus and he has his audience. He has done all kind of crazy and dangerous stuff to be seen and acknowledged..

I went from feeling, he was a bullshitter, to feeling compassion that he is handling his backpack as good as he can. He is not hurting anybody, telling his stories. They were actually quite entertaining and it made him feel acknowledged and better. Some people had a tough start in life, but they get over it. They see the patterns and slowly work on changing. They grow stronger and make the best of it.  They still struggle, but they do the best they can not hurting others.

 

The leopard – no game without pain

Indiana Jones reminded me of a friend I once had, that is quite the opposite and I call the leopard. The leopard has a totally different strategy. He thinks he is cool and in charge of it all. Though his back yard is the worst you can imagine. He is addicted to the chase. He loves to chase, what he can not have, cause what he can, does not interest him. He despises anybody that really likes him. He has hardly any friends and if you would want to love him, he couldn’t accept your love and his unconscious would find a fast way to sabotage it. You want to help him, but he can not be helped. Well at least not by you, unless you are a psychiatrist! You want to be his friend, but even that is impossible.

When you try the first time and he hurts you: “shame on him”, but if you keep trying to come back for more “shame on you”. We should not judge, but a leopard will always be a leopard. Life is a game to him. A game that only he can win. The only way to win, is not to play. If you meet a leopard, there is only one thing you can do. Turn around and go the other way. It still means, you accept people how they are, but you take the responsibility to protect yourself and stay away, because a leopard just doesn’t change its spots.

 

Travel teaches you about people

When you travel you meet a lot of interesting people. There is no coincidence and everybody has a message for you. I feel truly blessed for all the amazing people I have met on my travels. Every single one of them has taught me something. This morning, while taking my morning run on the boardwalk of Arlie Beach, I bumped into “Brad Pitt”. I will keep you posted…;-)